Writing success!
0Last week several things happened, all connected, all unprecedented and all, in the words of Hong Kong Phooey, panrific.
On Monday, Chris Addison tweeted that Newsjack was back. For the uninitiated, Newsjack is a topical show on BBC Radio 4 Extra (formerly on BBC7) that takes a satirical look at the week’s news. The great thing about Newsjack is that it has an open door policy on submissions, so anyone can submit material and, if they decide it’s funny enough, it will go in.
I’d heard of Newsjack but I have to confess I didn’t have my eye on the ball. When I saw the tweet there was one hour to the sketch deadline. Given I was at work at the time, I didn’t think this was doable. However, the show also accepts one-liners and the deadline for those was Tuesday at 5pm so I got scribbling.
I ended up submitting 4 one-liners. By Thursday lunchtime I had heard nothing, but saw on Newsjack’s Twitter feed that they hadn’t sent emails out yet. When 6pm arrived and I still hadn’t heard anything I gave up and went off to do various domestic chores.
I checked my email again at 8ish and saw an email from Ed Morrish, one of the show’s producers. I knew Ed’s name from previous unsuccessful attempts so I assume this was a “thanks but no thanks” email. I was wrong, the email was telling me something I’d written was in the show that night and asked for my bank details so I could get paid.
I tuned in (well, selected channel 910 on my TV) at 10pm that night. As it happened, the thing they liked was in the form of a correction and these are broadcast at the end of the programme (or at least they were last week). About 28 minutes in, there was my gag, it got a laugh and a bit of applause too – wahay!
So, the unprecedented things:
- I got my writing accepted by someone (previous best was getting to a BBC producers’ meeting)
- Something I wrote got broadcast
- A “proper” actor (I think Lewis Macleod) spoke words that I’d written
- I appeared on the writing credits page
- I got paid. In point of fact I don’t have the money yet, I’m due £18 but I couldn’t really give a monkey’s about that side of it
Of course, I now have something equivalent to the second album problem, can I repeat the achievement or is that it? I don’t know, but it will be interesting to find out.
What I did on my holidays
0I’ve just looked at my site (someone has to) and discovered that it’s nearly 100 days since my last post. Followers of matthewwasley.com won’t be at all surprised by that, used as they are to bursts of activity followed by prolonged silence. I like to think of this site as a desert flower that lies dormant for years, waiting for a the rains to come before gloriously erupting from the ground in a riot of beautiful colour. I like to think of it that way because it seems more palatable than me being a bone idle blogger.
So, apart from blahing on about desert flowers, I thought I would provide an update on what I’ve been up to since the last post. In brief, and leaving aside work and sundry domestic activities, I have:
- Done a tiny amount more on the opinion mining project, but not yet run my trial. Much to my surprise though, someone contacted me about it having read the post – Hi Floyd if you’re reading, it’s great to know someone’s out there.
- Continued to run. I ran the Edinburgh 10k last year and have entered the Edinburgh Rock and Roll Half Marathon later this year. Between now and the 15th April I need to double my max distance, but that should be doable if I don’t get injured.
- Begun to fill in the pond in my garden. It was 13 x 9 feet with earth mounds, large rocks and shrubs/trees surrounding it. It is now a very large muddy patch, surrounded by another muddy patch. Hopefully it will be grass in summer. As part of the work, I bought a mattock (axe-like thing for shopping out roots) from Screwfix. I tweeted that it would be good for digging out tree roots and killing zombies. To my delight, Screwfix tweeted me back and said: “we like to look at tree stump removal as zombie apocalypse practice!”
- Continued to develop my idea for a film (or, as they say up here, “filum”). “Develop” might be stretching things a little though, as mainly I’ve been thinking about the plot in the bath, but I’m counting it anyway. I entered a script competition last year with a scene from my would-be film and a short treatment. I didn’t get shortlisted but I think I have the germ of a decent idea in there, and screenplay is one of the genres I haven’t yet tried so I figured I might as well stick with it.
And there we have it, what I’ve been doing on my nearly 100 days holiday. I should really have drawn a picture to go with it, but my drawing hasn’t improved since primary school so I’d better not.
Science fights back
0I was recently forwarded part of an email exchange. I think it’s worth sharing.
The background is whether poster boards in corridors constitute a fire hazard. Clarification was issued on this matter and the guidance was that all boards must be enclosed (i.e. in perspex or similar), unless the display material was laminated, in which case it would smoke but not combust. An email was sent around and the following reply received:
Purely out of a sense of curiosity, could I ask for clarification of the clarification?
We have it on good authority (Ray Bradbury) that the autoignition temperature of paper is 451’F (roughly 231’C). As the temperature field in a corridor would be seriously anisotropic (very hot at the top, cold on the floor and cool on the walls due to conduction and wall mass) we could expect that the free air temperature would be much higher than this and that life would not be possible there (in any case the oxygen would be very low and smoke would make the area toxic).
So, surely, the odd bit of paper on the wall would be neither here nor there. Paint, carpets, lino and , of course, wall paper will be much more of a problem.
Counterintuitively perhaps, a piece of paper directly on a wall would be cooler than one on a noticeboard due to the thermal capacity of the wall and insulation provided by a notice board.
Perspex and acrylics in general melt around 120’C and poly carbonates around 150’C. So by the time we get to the autoignition point of paper the noticeboard covers will be dripping down the walls. It’s difficult to see what protection we get.
We may be confusing the issue with that of ‘fire load’ which is the amount of combustible material in a given volume.
A further point in passing: I would have thought that the heat of combustion of the few to several mm of Perspex enclosing the boards would be orders more than a similar area of say 100 micron paper. Also there would be proportionally more carbon and hence smoke.
The emailer goes on to ask for a detailed risk assessment comparing and quantifying the alternatives. The response is unknown, but a line from Basil Fawlty springs to mind: “… why do we bother? We should let you all burn“.
Great Edinburgh Run
0One week to go until the Great Edinburgh Run. 10k around the streets of Edinburgh, admiring the architecture including the 10x over budget parliament building and the roadworks caused by the ongoing tram fiasco.
That aside it should be a great day, and for those that won’t be running on the day, I’ve made a Google Earth tour of the route. Enjoy!
Further Opinion Mining
0It works (kind of). My adventure in opinion mining has moved on a bit since the last post on that topic. My bodged together Python script now reads in half a dozen RSS feeds, looks for ones with a key word in the title (currently, and appropriately given my last sciency post, gold), downloads them and then passes the text to OpinionFinder.
In the next step, OpinionFinder has a look through the downloaded files and looks for positive and negative words. My script takes OpinionFinder’s conclusions on the individual files and sums them up into an overall positive or negative result.
The next part in my master plan is to compare the results on a given day to the market and see whether positive news correlates to upward movement in price.
To be continued…
From Shirley Bassey to celluar imaging – thoughts on gold
0I’ve been wandering around the house recently singing Goldfinger (quietly so as not to alarm people). This isn’t because I’m an admirer of Shirley Bassey’s vocal talent or a fan of most things 007 (although I am), but because I’ve heard a number of interesting things about gold recently.
Gold has been in the financial news of late as its price continues to rise. The precious metal has a long history as a currency and the gold standard underpinned many currencies (including the Pound and the Dollar) until the 20th century. These days most major currencies are fiat, which basically means they have value because governments say so. When economic times are bad (like now) investors look back to gold for security and consequently its price rises. Gold is currently trading at around $1,900 per oz, which is seven times more than ten years ago. The general view seems to be that it will continue to climb until the global economy picks up, but remember: investments can go up as well as down. See this fifty year price chart if you don’t believe me.
Gold has lots of other uses besides making rich people richer. For example, last week I saw a presentation given by Professor David Birch in which he described the use of gold to work out what was going on inside cells. The gold he was using was in the form of nanorods around 50 nanometres long (there are a thousand million nanometres in a metre, if you lined up 20 of these nanorods they would be the thickness of a human hair). One of the neat tricks scientists use to image cells is to attach a fluorescent label to an object of interest, such as a protein, and make the label fluoresce. Generally, most stuff in the cell won’t fluoresce naturally so the label stands out nicely under the microscope. Perhaps surprisingly, gold is fluorescent at the nano scale so can usefully be used as a label. Gold has low toxicity, can readily be attached to biological structures, and can be made to fluoresce time and time again without breaking down (unlike traditional organic dyes). Research like this enables us to probe cell behaviour in order to fundamentally understand disease better, as well as having direct applications in targeting cancer cells.
As I started to write this post, other interesting things about gold popped into my head, and the more I looked, the more I found. So rather than a considered conclusion, I will finish this piece with…
And finally:
- The chemical symbol for gold is Au – Latin name aurum, hence Auric Goldfinger. Goldfingaaaah, he’s the man, the man with the Midas touch.
- Gold is resistant to attack by most acids (good for acid resistant socks) but can be dissolved by an acid known as aqua regia (latin for Royal Water, so named because it dissolves gold). I highly recommend you watch this video on aqua regia by Professor Martyn Poliakoff, who calls it the “lion of the acids” (try to focus on the acid not the Prof’s hair)
- Gold is used on astronaut helmet visors to protect from infrared (heat) radiation.
- Gold can be used in food and has the E number 175. The comedian Lucy Porter used this fact for her 2009 Fringe show “Fools Gold” , in which she persuaded audience members to eat gold. So far as I know she isn’t being sued by anyone for this so I guess it went ok.
- Fools Gold as we all know is Iron Pyrite (Pyrite FeS2)
- Fools Gold as we all know is a song by Stone Roses.
- There’s gold in the world’s oceans. Apparently about 10g/km3. This is obviously a very low concentration, but there’s a lot of ocean so (according to one estimate) there’s 15,000 tons of gold in there swimming with the fishes. People have come up with schemes to recover it, but none have been successful yet.
UPDATE:
Soon after I published this, another use of gold turned up in the news. This time it’s a self-assembling superlattice of gold nanoparticles with potential applications for nanoelectronics. You just can’t keep a good metal down.
Adventures in opinion mining
0Sometimes one thing leads to another and I find myself embarking on a new project. A conversation with a friend led to me thinking about whether opinion mining/sentiment analysis could be used as part of a stock market investment strategy. Opinion mining, roughly speaking, is the analysis of text to determine the attitude of the writer. There’s money to be made in this area and there are many companies doing just that. It’s also rich ground for academic research, which is good as it means there’s lots of information to be had.
Perhaps not unsurprisingly therefore, my idea of using sentiment analysis on the stock market is not a new one. Several groups have published papers on it (like this one) and an investment company has even launched a financial product based on a similar concept.
I still wanted to have a go myself though, so I set about looking for useful software. The academics in the paper I linked to above used a tool called OpinionFinder as part of their research. OpinionFinder is free to download here. Be warned though, if you’re a Windows user and plan on clicking a link and having the thing working straight away you’re going to be disappointed. OpinionFinder relies on other software which uses older versions of compilers and other things. On a newish version of Ubuntu (don’t even think about using Windows) this means a lot of jiggery pokery is needed to get the thing running, and that’s the point I’m at now.
My idea involves inputting various news feeds into OpinionFinder, so I also need to get/write software which will download RSS and Atom feeds and sort them. UniversalFeedParser should be able to help with this, and I’m pleased to report I downloaded and ran it without any problem. “All” I now need to do is add a few other modules and write a bit of code to join them up.
All very well, I hear you say, but I thought you claimed to be a writer so what has all of this geekery got to do with wordsmithing? Not a lot in fairness, save that I can write about it here, but it gives me something to do in the evenings instead of all the things that I’m meant to be doing like writing, jobs around the house, watching TV, speaking to my family etc.
A new look
0If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
If I update my web page and nobody visits, has it been updated?
The answer in both cases is yes. Besides which, my site is regularly visited, just not by humans. Style guru that I am, I decided to update my WordPress theme for the new season. The orange and whatever has gone to be replaced by the “Mystique” theme, which is apparently popular so I am brieflly trendy.
That’s the substance dealt with you say, but what about the content? Good question say I. Come back in a month or two and ask again.
Ye Olde Quantum Computing
0Due to yet another clerical error, I didn’t get shortlisted for the Wellcome prize, so instead I’ll post my entry here for anyone that wishes to read it…
Quantum computing: a new application of an old idea
Quantum. Definitely a high tech word. A word fit for the 21st century and our brave new world of hovering chrome robots and travel to the stars. Except that the quantum world isn’t all that new, in fact the first inroads into quantum technology were made over a hundred years ago. Around 1900, Max Plank proposed that the energy given off by hot things is quantised, i.e. broken up into discrete chunks. Albert Einstein and others built on Plank’s chunks and began to use this new quantum theory to gain a much better understanding of how things work at the atomic level and beyond.
This new science was key to the development of the transistor, the laser and many of the other inventions of the 20th century – technology that we still rely on today for our iPADs, Blu-ray players, washing machines and just about anything else that runs on electricity. Quantum research has continued into the 21st century too, and we now have an unprecedented level of control over the sub-atomic world. This has opened up fantastic opportunities but also created a few thorny problems, like quantum computers.
If you own a computer with internet access, the chances are you’ve used it to buy something online or check your bank account. Your internet browser, and your bank for that matter, will keep your information secure by using RSA encryption. The RSA scheme, named after Rivest, Shamir and Adleman who first published it, involves multiplying two random prime numbers (numbers divisible only by themselves and one) in order to encrypt a message. Anyone wanting to intercept and decode the message needs to know what the original numbers were. Finding which two numbers were multiplied together to make a third number is called factoring, and computers are very good at it. However, the bigger you make the number, the longer it takes and it’s possible to pick a number so big it can’t be cracked in any sensible timeframe, even with a modern supercomputer. The problem is, quantum computers can cheat.
Quantum computers take advantage of the peculiar nature of the sub atomic world. In this mysterious place, we can never know everything about a particle. We might be able to nail its position down, but we’re then stumped on how fast it’s going. Or we can know how fast it’s going but not know where it is. Things get odder still though: the particle is, in fact, in all places and at all speeds at the same time. This is known as superposition. Erwin Schrödinger famously showed just how strange this was by a thought experiment involving a cat that was both alive and dead at the same time. Aside from annoying the RSPCA, superposition comes in very handy for quantum computing. Whereas a conventional computer has to process one number at a time, superposition allows a quantum computer to do a whole lot of them at once. If you apply this ability to factoring a large number you can dramatically speed up the process, and RSA – the system behind the world’s financial transactions and hence the value of money – is suddenly breakable.
Don’t start stockpiling baked beans and heading for the Welsh mountains just yet though, because quantum theory also provides a solution: quantum cryptography. That same inability to know what a particle is doing can be put to use in making an unbreakable communications system. Things can be arranged such that any eavesdropping will unavoidably be detected, making the system completely secure – barring human error of course. There’s more good news, whereas the first commercial quantum cryptography systems are starting to appear, quantum computing appears much further behind. For example, to break RSA you’d need the ability to work with at least 10,000 bits of quantum information and, as of April 2011, the most credibly demonstrated number was 14.
Anyway, perhaps we shouldn’t focus on the super-villain application of quantum computing, its power can be used for good as well as evil. Quantum computers should be very good at modelling large complex systems, like the brain for example, or interactions between atoms that could lead to new drugs. In fact their awesome power will probably lead to applications we haven’t even thought of yet. The research into quantum technology going on right now could well change the 21st century in the same way that the original research changed the 20th. Not bad for an idea that first emerged when Queen Victoria was on the throne.
Slight update
0Hello avid non-existent reader. Just to let you know that there has been a slight refresh to the website – basically deleting a bunch of stuff. I entered the Wellcome Trust science writing competition recently, which should help the content. Either I will win, in which case loads more stuff will be posted here, or I won’t, in which case I’ll publish my competiton entry.